


You're Never Gonna Believe This

by PunishedPyotr



Series: Shadow Moses RomCom [5]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Cuckolding, M/M, No Condoms, Past Underage, Solidus is asexual, but the "sex is just for babies right" kind of asexual, not the "PDA is an aphobic hate crime" kind like Mantis is, reupload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:36:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunishedPyotr/pseuds/PunishedPyotr
Summary: “Hey, Snake? The strangest thing happened today. A guy showed up and, well, one thing led to another and, uh… I kinda got seduced by your other brother. Oh, by the way! You have another brother!”





	You're Never Gonna Believe This

**Author's Note:**

> Strangely enough this takes a sli~ghtly more serious tone than the other fics in the series. I did that on purpose. Because I wanted to prove that I could write Otasolidus (yes, I'm giving it a ship name, fuck you) _without_ it being pure crack. I was honest to God trying to make this feel _plausible_ and more or less canon-compliant. I suppose you'll have to be the judge of whether or not I succeeded, ehehe...

The past year and a half had been, for Otacon, hectic— no, scratch that. It’d been _insane_. The tanker incident was just the beginning; right after that, Otacon and Snake had to go halfway around the world to find Liquid’s body in cold storage in a facility near Lyon, France, and then they had to bring him back to New York and dump him in the river and Otacon had to “discover” him using a transmitter that “I put on Snake before he went on the tanker, so I’d be able to keep track of his position, y’know?” By the time they’d gotten that wrapped up construction of the Big Shell had already started, and Snake and Otacon found good reason to be suspicious of it, so…

So Otacon had pulled a few strings and got himself hired as the security systems architect. Just for the environmental cleanup facility itself, of course. He knew there was _something_ going on with it, knew that the overwhelming majority of the personnel in the so-called environmental cleanup facility actually had nothing whatsoever to do with the environment, but he wasn’t allowed to even be in the facility at the same time as them. He was fed the same story as the public, like they actually expected him to _believe_ that.

Otacon was reasonably sure he was being watched.

No one had bugged his apartment, thank God, no matter how many times he checked he never turned up anything and no matter how many conversations with Snake he had over Codec (just checking in with him, mostly, reassuring him that he was still okay and asking how he was doing lying low at his old place in Alaska) there were never any repercussions. But he very often had to pretend he didn’t see government types- _Patriot_ types loitering near his building, subtly tailing him wherever he went.

He wasn’t surprised. He’d be suspicious, too, in their situation — Philanthropy might have been technically dissolved now, but Otacon was still, well, Otacon, even if he’d been officially cleared of environmental terrorism charges (the fact that he’d shifted all the blame onto Snake during ‘negotiations’ still left a sour taste in his mouth, although it was Snake’s idea).

The point was that he wasn’t surprised he was being watched and he wasn’t surprised when he found a gray-haired, broad-shouldered, vaguely-familiar-looking man with a long black identity-concealing coat skulking in the alley right outside the side entrance to Otacon’s apartment building.

“Dr. Emmerich,” the man said, catching him off guard.

“C-Can I help you?” Otacon said, somewhere between exasperated and anxious - none of the people watching him had ever attempted to make contact before.

“I believe you can,” the man said, his voice a deep, clearly enunciated rumble that Otacon was 90% certain he’d heard on TV or radio before. “But it’s best we don’t talk out in the street.”

Otacon hesitated for a moment, then shrugged, adjusted his glasses, and gestured for the man to follow him and lead him into his apartment. He was aware that it was a terrible idea, yes, he could feel sweat on the point of beading on the back of his neck and the small of his back at the thought that this guy was, in all likelihood, very bad news. But his tone of voice had made it clear that he was a man used to authority and Otacon didn’t really have the _option_ to tell him no thanks. One way or another he was going to get into Otacon’s apartment and _hopefully_ tell him about what he needed ‘help’ with, instead of just murdering him or something.

It… did help a little that Snake had insisted on teaching Otacon how to shoot (as bad a shot as Otacon was, it was enough to defend himself if absolutely necessary) and also that Otacon hang onto his SOCOM when they parted ways. It was hidden in the desk drawer by Otacon’s bed. Yeah, it was wildly illegal here, but neither of them paid too much attention to that.

“Uh… care for a drink?” Otacon said more out of reflexive politeness than anything else as the strange man sat down in Otacon’s desk chair, the only available sitting surface besides the bed… or the desk itself or the kitchenette counter, if this guy had the same ridiculous sitting habits that Snake had…

“In the interest of sociability, yes,” the man said. “Whatever you have is fine. I’m not picky.”

Swallowing uncomfortably, Otacon stepped into the kitchenette, grabbed two cans of beer out of the mostly empty fridge, and returned to stand in front of the man, handing him one. He opened it, but didn’t drink.

“I’m sure you’re wondering who I am,” the man said.

“Well, yeah,” Otacon said.

There was brief pause, where the man made an expression that Otacon found _really_ familiar for some reason - slightly cocking his head, eyes flicking up and to the side for a moment before returning to Otacon’s face. “Who _I_ am is not important,” the man said, “what _is_ important is who _you_ are.”

“…I’m a lot of things,” Otacon said lamely, then took a swig of his beer to cover his nervousness. Bleh. Honestly, considering the fact that Snake had been an alcoholic when Otacon had dragged him out of his hermit life to form Philanthropy and Otacon had spent _months_ convincing him to go cold turkey and helping him through withdrawal, and how worried Otacon was that Snake would fall off the wagon while all alone in Twin Lakes - drinking kind of made Otacon feel like an awful, awful hypocrite even if it was sometimes the only way to take the edge off after being stalked all day. He’d vowed a while ago to never mention it to his partner.

And wait. With that thought of Snake, Otacon finally realized why this guy looked so darn familiar.

He looked like Snake.

Or rather, he looked like Big Boss, like that grainy photograph taken a few months before his death that Otacon saw in a newspaper back in ’99 and always thought of that image when he thought of Snake’s father. This guy looked almost _exactly_ like that, a little bit younger - slightly less wrinkled - but the same hair color, although this one’s hair was much neater and shorter, his beard cut more closely to his face. Also, he had both eyes.

And despite his appearance, looking into his eyes Otacon realized that he wasn’t as old as he looked, probably around Snake’s age, in fact, or a couple years younger, even, closer to Otacon’s age.

So that meant…

“There was _another_ one?” Otacon blurted out.

The man blinked in surprise. “Another one?” he repeated, which settled it.

“Another one of you Snakes,” Otacon said, “it wasn’t just the twins, huh? So what’s your name, then? If they had Solid and Liquid, then I guess you’d be… Gas… Gaseous… no, that sounds bad. Vapor Snake?” He was babbling now, he knew that, but hey - he was on edge here. Although right now it was more because he was standing in front of a guy who probably had _no idea_ that Otacon had slept with _both_ his brothers.

Which, counterintuitive as it was after what had happened at Shadow Moses, was probably the reason why Otacon was suddenly a lot more willing to hear this new Snake out, and no longer seriously thought he was going to kill him.

The new Snake cocked his head again, and Otacon knew now that that face was exactly the one Snake always made when listening to someone on Codec. He must be here on orders from someone, or at least had someone feeding him lines.

After half a moment, the new Snake nodded almost imperceptibly and made eye contact with Otacon again. “Yes, I am the third and final clone of Big Boss. My name is Solidus Snake.”

Otacon took another awkward sip of beer, waiting for him to continue.

He did. “I require your assistance with something. I can’t go into detail, but it won’t be something that will require much effort on your part, nor is it likely to get you in any… trouble.”

“What is it?” Otacon said cautiously.

“You are the security systems architect for the Big Shell, are you not?”

“I am.”

“And some of the security measures include biometrics, do they not?”

“They do.” Otacon sat down on the bed, slightly uncomfortable for both obvious reasons and reasons he couldn’t explain himself. “The conference hall has a retina scanner, for example. Pain in the neck if you ask me, every time there’s some VIP guest I have to add their data to it myself.”

Solidus raised an eyebrow. “So you _are_ the one who adds personnel to the internal access lists.”

“Um… yep.”

“Excellent, it’s precisely _that_ that I require your assistance with. You see, I need to…”

Otacon stopped listening, not intentionally, of course, but he found himself watching Solidus’ lips move as he talked, dimly thinking about how much he missed Snake. He really, really did; he missed living with him and watching him work out and do target practice and clean his guns and he missed watching animé with him on slow nights, and the way he listened intently without really talking when Otacon was telling him something, and he missed fucking him, the way Snake kissed him and toyed with his body and the way he actually let Otacon top like 65% of the time, hell, he even missed randomly walking in on Snake jacking off and the way he’d stopped scrambling to cover himself after a certain point. Dude just _kept going_ nowadays. Or he had before he and Otacon had to split up like this, anyway. Ever since then all they’d really had was awkward mutual masturbation dirty-talk over the Codec that Otacon burst into laughter in the middle of half the time anyway, since Snake was _really_ bad at it…

Otacon shook himself. Woah. Not a great time to be thinking about that.

“Sorry, what?” Otacon said, “I kind of… spaced out for a second there.”

Solidus narrowed his eyes slightly, although he seemed more confused than insulted. “All I need,” he said slowly, pulling a flashdrive out of an inner coat pocket, “is for you to add this biometric data to the internal access lists. I’d like it done before April.”

“Uh… huh…” Otacon set his beer down, half-full, on his bedside table. “But _why_ should I do this?”

“It’s very important.”

“I- don’t even know you. Last time I worked on something ‘very important’ without knowing exactly what it was for, it was… well… taken over by your brother, for one thing.”

There was a brief pause. Presumably the person on the other end of Solidus’ Codec was telling him what to say next, judging by his expression.

“With all the work you’ve done with your NGO, Philanthropy,” Solidus said, “I have reason to believe that your goals and my goals are very similar: ‘To let the world be’…”

“Yeah, well, Philanthropy’s over,” Otacon said, breaking eye contact. “those days are past. I… only live for myself now, that’s all.”

“Do you really?”

Otacon flinched. He wasn’t a great liar, he was well aware, but he didn’t think he was _that_ transparent.

“Listen, Dr. Emmerich. It would be imprudent to tell you all the details now, but while I only require this one small thing of you for now I do feel you would make a valuable addition to my… team. Consider this the first step, Dr. Emmerich, or the proving grounds—“

“I can’t trust you,” Otacon said suddenly, standing up.

“Is there anything I can do to gain your trust, Dr. Emmerich?”

Was it just him, or was Solidus using his name way too frequently all of a sudden?

“Or would you prefer it if I call you ‘Otacon’? Or ‘Hal’?”

“…Emmerich’s fine,” Otacon said uncomfortably, then corrected himself: “ _Dr_. Emmerich.”

There was an extremely brief lull in conversation, then Solidus, eyes slightly narrowed again, said, “You miss my brother, don’t you? Solid Snake?”

“What?”

“It’d be callous of me not to offer my condolences after what happened on that tanker. I hear he was an… interesting man.”

“Ah… yeah. He was.”

Solidus crossed his legs, which Otacon wouldn’t have really noticed if the gesture didn’t strongly remind him of Snake, who frequently sat like that.

“What sort of relationship did you have with him, exactly?”

Otacon’s mouth went dry. “E-Excuse me…?”

“There had been… _rumors_ …”

“Uh. How?” When Otacon had deflowered Snake, that had actually been the morning after the tanker incident, following a really awkward, impulsive confession the night before. In other words, Otacon hadn’t actually slept with the guy until after he was _already_ , as far as literally everyone except Otacon was concerned, _dead_.

“Evidently there was just a certain tone your interactions took that raised a few eyebrows,” Solidus said, “that, and I’ve already heard about what you did with Liquid.”

Otacon’s eyes widened. “Er, wait, how do you—?”

“I… just do.”

Considering the only people besides Otacon and Snake who would actually know about that would be FOXHOUND (all dead except for one… and a half…) and Otacon’s former co-workers (that had disappeared the day of the revolt, and ArmsTech had refused to tell him what happened to them before they gave him a fat hush-money pension and quietly fired him), the fact that Solidus knew was kind of suspicious.

Oh, wait — hadn’t Sergei Gurlukovich said something about Solidus right before Ocelot killed him?

Yeah, that _was_ suspicious.

Otacon backed up on the bed. “Why are you bringing this up?”

“Just trying to get to know you better. You have a type, don’t you?”

“…n-no?”

Solidus silently raised an eyebrow at him.

“Maybe?”

Why the heck was Otacon continuing the conversation?

“Well, Dr. Emmerich, I apologize if I was out of line, but - I just assumed that discussing your former lovers - something frivolous - might put you more at ease, and convince you that I’m only approaching you on the friendliest of terms.”

“You… you’re… not very good at this whole ‘social interaction’ thing, are you…?”

Solidus didn’t reply. Despite his stoic expression, little splotches of blush appeared high up on his cheeks. So, no. He really wasn’t.

Otacon laughed once, a little disbelievingly, a little hysterically. “I guess that’s something you’ve got in common with your brothers, then.”

“Is that a trait you… like?”

He was very obviously thinking that if Otacon found that kind of thing… attractive… then he could probably use that to his advantage, and salvage this effort to get Otacon to like him enough to tamper with the Big Shell’s security system for him. With that in mind, Otacon shrugged noncommittally.

Solidus frowned slightly.

This was pretty awkward.

“Where are you going with this?” Otacon said at length.

“I am merely trying to convince you to-“

“No, I get that. What exactly is your strategy here, Solidus?” He shifted his weight, somewhat uncomfortably. “Y’know, looking back on it, I think part of the reason why Liquid, er, seduced me was because he just wanted to get in good with me in preparation for his takeover - since I was the lead engineer on the REX project, I mean.”

There was a brief pause.

“‘Part of’ the reason?” Solidus said.

Otacon shrugged again, helplessly this time. “I still like to think that he liked me, on some level anyway. I know he didn’t kill me outright because he needed me for REX, but, well, maybe when I wasn’t needed anymore he didn’t _just_ keep me around in case there was some kind of bug.”

“Or maybe he forgot about you entirely,” Solidus said.

“Y…yeah. Maybe. He locked me in my office, and didn’t even tell those soldiers in the hallway to let me out once in a while to go to the bathroom, so…” Otacon went slightly pink. Why was he telling Solidus this? This was _embarrassing_. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We split it off before the takeover started because his partner put the kibosh on the whole relationship.”

“Partner?” Solidus said.

“I really don’t know.” Otacon blinked. “Hey, Snake said the exact same thing when I told him.”

“Do I remind you of him?”

Otacon opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Um…”

“It’s understandable, of course,” Solidus said, folding his arms. “He and I are- _were_ both clones of the same man. But, he’s dead now…”

“Are you… offering yourself as some kind of replacement goldfish?”

“I’m only doing whatever would be necessary to win you over.” Otacon stared at him for half a moment, then Solidus turned his head, breaking eye contact, in an almost sheepish way. “I don’t find it odd that both of my brothers would have held some affection for you. You’re very…” there was a pause, and Otacon suspected Solidus’ Codec buddy was giving him a word, “…cute.”

_Cute…_ , Otacon thought, _cute?_ Only two people had ever called Otacon “cute”, and one of them was in Alaska.

The other one was in Ocelot’s arm, however _that_ worked.

Well. It wasn’t definitive proof, but Otacon guessed that the person apparently walking Solidus through this little “negotiation” was in fact Ocelot. That _would_ explain why Solidus knew about the whole ‘totally fucked Liquid Snake multiple times’ thing… and what Gurlukovich said, too… but what was Ocelot doing? He was with the Patriots, wasn’t he? He’d said as much… but after his comment about Philanthropy, Solidus didn’t exactly seem like he was, too.

Of course, Solidus or Ocelot or, hell, both of them could be or could have been lying through their teeth. Otacon had no way of knowing.

_But_ … he _did_ seem to have a few more pieces to the puzzle now, even if he didn’t know where they fit in. Yet.

Maybe he could get Solidus to…?

He straightened up, clenching his hands nervously in his lap. “Er, thanks, Solidus.” He took a deep breath. “So, are we gonna fuck or what?”

Solidus started. “Ah—-“ He glanced to the side, with a wide-eyed, vaguely horrified and affronted expression. From the looks of things, Ocelot had chosen that moment to bow out and leave Solidus to his own painfully awkward devices. “I… yes?”

“…um. Have you ever…?”

Solidus frowned again, more deeply this time. “I have never had the interest nor the time.”

And for some reason the only thing Otacon could think was, _Wow, I’m three for three._

There was one thing Otacon hadn’t anticipated about Solidus, despite the fact that it was honestly kind of evident even before he took his clothes off: he had a really different body type from either of his brothers. Where Snake and Liquid both had been trim and lean, with compact, wiry frames and attractively defined muscles, Solidus was broad, and while he was obviously muscular, his abs were hidden under a healthy layer of fat, his body geared more for strength than aesthetics. (And like his brothers, his body was also littered with scars, but noticeably fewer, and- were those stretchmarks?)

Not a bad look, honestly. Maybe Otacon really _didn’t_ have a type. It was already weird enough to be into both twunks and MILFs, right…?

“…you’re staring at me,” Solidus said, shifting his weight on the desk uneasily.

“Uh, sorry.” Otacon smiled blandly. “You… look good?”

“…hmph.”

And maybe it _was_ kind of… endearing how red-faced Solidus got. Whew.

On the other hand, it was decidedly _easier_ to have sex with someone who had the crazy libido of Snake, or Liquid, or… or Julie… so… Otacon uncertainly put a hand on Solidus’ leg, and when Solidus merely glanced at it, he moved it up towards his crotch.

“You know, we don’t _have_ to do this,” Otacon said.

“I…”

“I mean, this… _is_ kind of weird, isn’t it…”

“I think I would be much more comfortable with you not pointing that out, Dr. Emmerich.”

“Sorry.”

Solidus twitched when Otacon’s fingers reached his dick.

‘Quick and dirty’ was probably the best way to describe it. Honestly, Otacon was a pretty big fan of foreplay normally, but this barely qualified. It was more like… a dispassionate handjob, combined with bored masturbation. Not great. At least Solidus had closed his eyes and tilted his head back as he started to get hard at Otacon’s touch - which meant that he wasn’t actually _looking_ at Otacon as he did his best to get his own dick ready for action, too. That probably would have just been way too much.

Oh geez. He really only had himself to blame for getting into this situation, didn’t he? Yeah, Solidus might have apparently been _attempting_ so seduce him, but it was such a poor effort that this was really Otacon initiating here.

_It’s just because he looks more or less like Snake_ , Otacon told himself, and that just made him feel worse.

Solidus grit his teeth. “What… exactly do you have in mind, Dr. Emmerich?”

“I, er, figured I’d— y’know, once you were ready- I figured I’d top, if that’s fine with you.” He was uncomfortably aware of the fact that his glasses were halfway down his nose by now but his hands were both kind of occupied at the moment, not to mention a little sticky with pre-seminal fluid…

“…I don’t actually know what that means,” Solidus said flatly.

“Uh. You don’t?”

“No. As I said, I have never had much interest in… this…”

“Oh… okay, well, just follow my lead and- and let me know if you don’t like something I’m doing.”

“I can do that.”

Apart from some slight breathlessness, he wasn’t saying anything in a tone that even _implied_ they were about to have sex (or rather, had already starting having sex but in the more nebulously-defined ‘just touching’ way for now). Otacon took off his glasses and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand.

With Solidus’ face blurred, it was much easier to pretend he was Snake. Yeah, the body type and hair color were all wrong, but he couldn’t see the wrinkles anymore and Solidus was pale enough that without glasses Otacon didn’t really register the beard.

Alright. Time to see if he couldn’t turn Solidus’ little seduction ploy back on himself.

Otacon jerked open one of the desk drawers, rooting around in it blindly. “What are you doing?” Solidus asked him.

“Lube,” Otacon said quickly, eyes wide. “Otherwise it won’t, y’know, work.”

“…ah.”

He could see Solidus watching him as he nervously slicked his fingers, but couldn’t make out the expression on his face — with Snake, and yes with Liquid too back then, not wearing his glasses during sex wasn’t remotely an issue because he usually had his face close enough to Snake’s (so he could kiss him) that he could see it clearly anyway. He just didn’t want to do that with Solidus. That would make it weird.

…

_It was_ **_already_ ** _weird._

Shaking himself, Otacon groped around Solidus’ butt with his lubed-up hand, and Solidus shifted on the desk, leaning back slightly, (unintentionally?) giving Otacon a better angle. He pressed two fingers up against his asshole.

“This’ll be a lot easier if you relax, you know,” Otacon said.

“I could say the same for you, Dr. Emmerich.”

Caught out again… Otacon took a deep breath. He was probably right.

He leaned over Solidus, or rather, leaned towards him, considering Solidus was a couple inches taller than him and sitting on his desk. Somewhat surprisingly, Solidus didn’t move away. Otacon shoved his fingers in. Solidus went completely rigid.

“ _Oh_ ,” he said.

“You like that?” Otacon said, twisting his wrist a little.

“I… haven’t decided…”

Solidus’ hands tightened into fists as Otacon spread his fingers, indelicately stretching him. After a few moments, he made some soft little sound and covered his mouth with one hand, tilting his head back again.

Otacon wasn’t about to ask him to put his hand down.

Eventually he drew his fingers out - Solidus hadn’t given him any indication about whether or not he was ready, but Otacon figured he’d probably done enough, considering he’d fingered him longer than he’d ever done for Snake (or Liquid… or Julie, not that he’d ever had much say with her) — and, gripping Solidus’ shoulders, pressed the head of his cock up against his hole.

“Do you- do you want this?” Otacon said, licking his lips nervously.

Solidus nodded, his eyes shut tight.

Otacon pushed forward.

He found another difference between Solidus and his brothers: while Liquid had been a screamer, and Snake liked to run his mouth with that horrendous dirty talk that alternated between unimaginative and something right out of an incoherently translated hentai and he’d often trail off mid-sentence just to pant in Otacon’s ear, Solidus was fairly silent. The only sounds he really made were grunts and very stifled, short moans. It didn’t help that he still had his hand on his mouth, although he was biting his knuckles, now.

It was a little uncomfortable because Otacon was _also_ the silent type when it came to sex, an ingrained habit from his relationship with Julie. The only sound in the room, really, was the marginally unpleasant noise of flesh slapping wetly against flesh.

“Y-Your ass is so tight and hot,” Otacon said, just to break the silence.

“Thank you… you too,” Solidus replied distractedly.

Otacon had to stop for almost a full minute so he could laugh hysterically at that. Solidus apparently didn’t realize what he just said, because he just stared at Otacon in mildly offended bafflement.

Finally, Otacon got a grip and continued thrusting, leaning his forehead against Solidus’ shoulder and murmuring, “Nevermind… forget I said anything…” He was still giggling a little. He kind of wished he’d actually had enough beer to get drunk, or at least tipsy, because this whole situation (the sex, and him completely losing his shit at Solidus’ slip) would be so much easier to justify in that case.

It went back to uncomfortable quiet after that, although it didn’t take too long for Solidus’ breathing to start to get harsher, his ass clenching and spasming harder around Otacon, and Otacon knew that they were - thank _God_ \- almost done here, and tried to pretty much will himself into an orgasm. It helped when he pushed his body against Solidus', hiding his face against his neck and imaging that the sweat he tasted was Snake’s, that the legs pressing against his waist were Snake’s legs, and that he was anywhere in the world but a tiny studio apartment in New York with a SOCOM in the bedside table, beer in the fridge, and a desk that did nothing to deserve this.

“Oh… g-gh…”

Solidus’ whole body shuddered and tensed as he orgasmed with a loud growl. The extra pressure and splash of semen against his chest was enough to, thankfully, tip Otacon over the edge to a less-than-satisfying climax. They both panted in what was technically the afterglow for a few minutes.

Eventually, Solidus said, “well. That was interesting.”

“Interesting?” Otacon said, pulling out and regretting the fact that they hadn’t had a condom… not that Solidus was too likely to have any STDs (and of course Otacon knew he himself was clean), but it still would have helped with the mess… “That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say? That wasn’t something I’ve ever experienced before.”

“I dunno. That was good? Bad?”

“Not bad,” was Solidus’ final assessment. Otacon supposed it didn’t really matter to him if Solidus felt inclined to ever do it again. With someone else. Because Otacon at this point was really hoping he’d never see him again, although he knew in all likelihood he would. In April. April?

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” Otacon said awkwardly, fixing his pants and making a mental note to shower the _second_  Solidus got out of his apartment. “By the way, about the internal access lists…”

“You’ll add the biometric data I gave you?” Solidus said, raising an eyebrow. (Such a forceful, authoritative tone of voice for a man who was still naked and sitting on the very desk he’d just been fucked on…)

Otacon nodded. He wasn’t stupid, Solidus _had_ to be planning to take over the Big Shell - although _why_ Otacon wasn’t clear on yet, and he doubted Solidus would tell him now, even after that — anyway, if Otacon didn’t cooperate, Solidus would almost certainly do it anyway. If Otacon _did_ cooperate, the only major difference would probably be the takeover going a lot smoother on their end, and, logically, less casualties.

Plus, Otacon could get some information ahead of time if he went down this road. “When exactly do you need the data added?”

“I told you already,” Solidus said, finally sliding off the desk and picking up his clothes from where they’d been carelessly thrown to the floor. “It needs to be done before April.”

“I mean the specific date,” Otacon said, “it’d be kind of suspicious for a whole bunch of random personnel to be added to the guest list, even if it _is_ the security systems architect doing it. Someone’s going to notice - but, if I do it as close to the… time it needs to be done as possible, then there’ll be less time for someone _to_ notice.”

“Good point,” Solidus said. “A date, hmm…” He paused for a moment, then murmured, “April thirtieth…”

“The thirtieth?” Otacon said.

Solidus shook his head. “Do it the twenty-eighth,” he ordered.

“Can do.” Hopefully this wouldn’t backfire somehow…

It wasn’t until after Solidus had handed him the flashdrive and left (with a very formal goodbye, considering he was saying goodbye to a dude he literally _just had sex with_ ) and Otacon was in the shower that it dawned on him that that whole escapade had been remarkably useless. As advantageous as it was to be able to tell Snake he needed to get back to New York by April 28th, he could have _absolutely_ found that out from Solidus _without_ having sex with him. And all the _other_ tidbits of information he’d managed to pick up on, he’d found out _before_ the sex.

There was _no point_. He just cucked Snake for _nothing_.

And he didn’t even get Solidus’ Codec frequency.

**Author's Note:**

> ~~Obviously I need to go back and add _one more fic_ to this series that involves Otacon somehow time-travelling and taking Big Boss' virginity, too. Round out the set!~~


End file.
